I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
