I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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