What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
