Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
