he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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