I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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