why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
