You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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