dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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