Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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