i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize