I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
