So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
