Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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