He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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