Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
