At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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