I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
