Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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