dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
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you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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