it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
