so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
