The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
