Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
