Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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