Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
