Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
