she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
