Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
