I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
