I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
