it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
