Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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