Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
