i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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