I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
love makes seman taste better
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
