I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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