first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize