I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
