The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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