Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
