is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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