I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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