so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
