I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
