Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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