so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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