What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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