too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
