He had one of those small greek statue penises
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
