the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
