For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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