he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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