Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
