There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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