you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
