this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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