Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize