Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize