are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
