Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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