We won't sleep together?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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