Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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