I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize